Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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