Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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