i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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