you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
it was like eating out sand paper
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
