I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
