dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
