Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You're a waste of cheezeits
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
