She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
there is glitter all over my balls
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
