bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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