I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
