A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Randomize
