let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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