I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
