he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My vagina is very pro this idea
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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