I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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