I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
