i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize