either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
