Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
