i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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