i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Randomize
