He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
