I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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