I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
