Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
