my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
