Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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