He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize