Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
pray to the hookup gods
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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