I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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