Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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