okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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