Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize