We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
