About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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