Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
This toilet bowl is my home.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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