my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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