you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
