this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
