you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
