I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
false alarm. still invincible.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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