I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
