I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize