I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
