You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
