I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
