Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My penis needs a shock collar
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
