Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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