I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
