Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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