making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
