Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
