I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
