Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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