Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
