Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So. Much. Porn.
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