whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize