So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
