My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
