love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
