The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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