Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
