I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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