I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
