Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize