I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
