I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
