her vagine was all disorganized.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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