the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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