xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
now i know why i became what i already was.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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