i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
