No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
