4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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