Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
