the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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