bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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