Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
